A saucy version of “Jingle Bells”

Was among fancy versions of several Xmas carols I sang with my choir on Saturday night. I was a bit raised-eyebrow about them at first (try singing “Christmas was made for children – children like you and meeee” with a straight, non-cringing face), but I’ve come round to thinking that most carols really don’t try hard enough, and you have to fanny about with them to make them fun. Except Silent Night. Nobody better fuck with Silent Night.

This post comes to you from the slightly surreal world of the glue-headed. The middle bit of a worse-than-usual head cold gives a unique outlook on life, something I imagine to be akin to, say, a great dane’s. I feel slow, dumb and useless* and I’m peering round as if I’ve forgotten my spectacles (not that I wear them, though that does remind me it’s 10 years since my last eye test, and I’ve always rather fancied myself in specs – a few years ago, in anticipation thereof, I even took a series of photos of myself wearing various friends’ glasses. I looked surprisingly decent).

Last night I went to a drinks do for “young agents” (aka agents’ assistants, who actually are young, and a few slightly embarrassed, balder/greyer agents who can physically feel their lifeblood draining away), with a hefty wedge behind the bar courtesy of  our (for want of a better word) union. I was more excited about the free crisps than the free booze, thanks to the sniffles, and it seemed I wasn’t the only one. The turnout was surprisingly low (I know parties in a recession are frowned upon, but this one had a FREE BAR people), but it was still a surprise to discover, when the exodus seemed to be in full effect, that there was still £500 that had to be drunk – no refunds…

I understand they found people to oblige, and there are a few actors’ agents this morning who may find their assistants not quite as perkily enthusiastic as usual. I, on the other hand, went home on the train, clutching the remaining Xmas gifts I’d had delivered to the office which were too big to transport on my bike. So close to being done!! Only two remaining, I think, and I have a reserve idea there which I’ll use if it all gets too much…

In other news, fucking cold, isn’t it?

*I’m not suggesting great danes are useless. They just look it, a bit.

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    • Bassjunkieuk
    • December 15th, 2009

    Didn’t Oh Holy Night come get announced as the favourite Christmas carol in part of the beeb’s non-news this morning?
    FWIW my kids school did THE BEST version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer last year 🙂

    • Olivia
    • December 16th, 2009

    What were the lyrics to the saucy version of Jingle Bells? And great danes are stupid. I have conclusive evidence.

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